We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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