He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
