So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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