fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
