1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
