Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
