don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
