Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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