the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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