I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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