I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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