I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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