We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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