People with herpes should wear stickers.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
