Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
