Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize