Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
