yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Randomize
