I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
