u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
