i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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