he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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