and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
