this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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