If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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