i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
