I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
