Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
