I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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