Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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