Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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