words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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