make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
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I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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