Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
