Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
