maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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