she smelled like a LAN party
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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