are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
