it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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