dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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