Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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