I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
