Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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