I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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