As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
