You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
