my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
