Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
