bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
