Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
