my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
