There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
