i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
