ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
