dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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