I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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