I got chris browned last night
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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