new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
