if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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