this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize