If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
