Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
