i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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